Last night was date night for my wife and I. Cheap babysitting at our regular daycare available from 5pm to midnight. My wife and I went out to dinner and had great wine, sumptuous food, and best of all, there was nobody screaming throughout. I was happily asleep by 10pm, and then this morning, my son slept a whole hour late. We're having a fairly good time together. Well, if you don't mind being interrupted every 30 seconds with things being broken or crashing to the floor (or both).
My calm inner self, so carefully crafted by last night's cocktails and crab cakes, has vanished. In it's place, just 20 minutes in, is an irritable mind already aching for nap time--already craving more time away. I miss peace that lasts long enough for my own thoughts to gather naturally, meander, and come up with other thoughts borne out of quiet contemplation. That kind of introspective creativity doesn't happen much around here anymore because there's just so little quiet. And, that makes me so very irritable.
It seems that it doesn't matter how much of a break I get from the interruptions, I find that the irritability is still there when the interruptions re-commence. There doesn't seem to be much of any holdover. I can't imagine people would continue having children if they felt this irritable all the time, so I must be somewhat alone in this propensity.
There have been lovely recommendations to create a toddler-free room or two in the house. While that sounds beyond fantastic, I'm not sure where I would get the energy to do such a thing when there is *always* a toddler in the room. It seems to take all my energy not to drop-kick said toddler into moving traffic, especially after he has dumped everything I love onto the filthy, dog-hair-filled floor. It leaves little gumption for other projects.
I'm not complaining as much as I'm wondering how other parents survive parenthood without feeling cranky and upset most the time. My dad was. I am (well, maybe a third of the time). Hopefully, the donor's temperament gives my son a cheerier disposition than mine. He already seems extroverted enough that maybe he will avoid inheriting my natural irritability.
If you couldn't tell already, I will be abstaining from further procreation. Hopefully, doing this gives other, less irritable folks a better chance in the evolutionary pool, and the world will be a happier place. You're welcome.
